another piece of a facebook conversataion... this one initiated by an article by naomi aldort
i find a.s. neil's quote about "freedom not license" to be SUCH an important piece of this stuff (radical parenting).
i hadn't thought of using "freedom vs. license" for other aspects of life, but that is SO wise! i've used things like "everything in moderation" or "balance" or whatnot, but i think "freedom vs license" is where it's at right now! thanks for that idea!!!
it is SO messy, impossible to measure, and personal (not about someone else's idea of what's "right"). some days things seem to flow so beautifully and sometimes i just feel stuck with it! i guess the biggest difference i can pin down is a healthy dose of both personal clarity and patience (or willingness to listen). also when i'm feeling "full-up," i can be a lot more intentional and creative in my problem solving. instead of just saying "no" or "stop"(or thinking "because i freakin' said so, dude" or " i give up"), i can help negotiate, offer alternatives, redirect, and really help transform troubles into something positive.
i too feel alienated from the radical unschooling community as well as the mainstream parenting/teaching community. i just can't get behind a lot of the stuff i observe and experience. i guess it is helpful to remember that it's so much easier to see what "ought to be done" when you are observing and not so easy when you are in the thick of it! also, everyone is doing the best they can with their own strengths and struggles and we are all in different places with it... although (and here's a total tangent) i think that's part of the problem, there's NO cohesion among this culture's child-rearing practices. even among close friends and within families there are so many different ways of doing things. of course, that is part of what makes our culture so beautiful and rich, full of possibility, but it also creates tension, uncertainty, and instability that doesn't seem to exist in the same way in cultures where child-rearing practices are passed on from one generation to the next and are pretty uniform among communities. ...if i ever write a thesis it might be about that! :)
as someone who was raised in the heart of the "free to be" generation with plenty of control issues held over from the boomer generation, i have a lot of healing growing and learning of my own to do (of course). really, despite all the theories and philosophies, i think being "healthy" (happy, whole, balanced, etc) adults is the best thing caregivers/parents/teachers can do for kids.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Failed Screen Free Week Finale = A New Blog!!!
Well, having failed at screen-free week (though committed to a do-over in the near future when I'm a little more prepared), I decided that the best thing to do with my screen-loving computer-depending self is to start a blog! Yay! A new pursuit.
I'm going to start out by posting some past rants about early childhood. Those of you who know me may think I'm "sweet" or "quiet" or "nice." And I am :), but those of you who know me well also know that I just LOVE a good rant... especially when it comes to early childhood, young children, parenting, education, politics, or the nature of human beans. I am a total GEEK when it comes to Early Childhood and today I am going to embrace that and take one more step towards sharing it with the world.
Today I also realized that 98% of my creative energy goes to Runabouts, my preschool. For now I'm ok with that. It won't be like that forever and it's a pretty well rounded obsession, really. I get to do accounting, make posters, design websites, take photos, write, set up the school, dream up art projects, sing, read, act, dance, cuddle, play chase, tell stupid jokes, meet amazing and inspiring adults... and most of all hang out with crazy, creative, silly, sweet, bizarre, genius little humans almost every day. Caring for little ones (as every teacher and parent knows) is exhausting. It challenges a person to their very core and brings up all sorts of questions-- both personal and existential. Sometimes that part of this work/my life really gets to me but I think I also thrive on it. It makes me who I am, anyway. I think the challenges make the successes all the more special.
On the best days I know that what I do is making the world a better place. On the worst days I try to remind myself how imperfect humans are allowed to be and how small I really am in the whole scheme of things. At various times I hide, step back, stand tall, or reach out. I hold still or take action. I hold my ground or reconsider. Most times I just do what I can, do what I love, get by, have fun, be myself, etc. What else can you do?
I'm going to start out by posting some past rants about early childhood. Those of you who know me may think I'm "sweet" or "quiet" or "nice." And I am :), but those of you who know me well also know that I just LOVE a good rant... especially when it comes to early childhood, young children, parenting, education, politics, or the nature of human beans. I am a total GEEK when it comes to Early Childhood and today I am going to embrace that and take one more step towards sharing it with the world.
Today I also realized that 98% of my creative energy goes to Runabouts, my preschool. For now I'm ok with that. It won't be like that forever and it's a pretty well rounded obsession, really. I get to do accounting, make posters, design websites, take photos, write, set up the school, dream up art projects, sing, read, act, dance, cuddle, play chase, tell stupid jokes, meet amazing and inspiring adults... and most of all hang out with crazy, creative, silly, sweet, bizarre, genius little humans almost every day. Caring for little ones (as every teacher and parent knows) is exhausting. It challenges a person to their very core and brings up all sorts of questions-- both personal and existential. Sometimes that part of this work/my life really gets to me but I think I also thrive on it. It makes me who I am, anyway. I think the challenges make the successes all the more special.
On the best days I know that what I do is making the world a better place. On the worst days I try to remind myself how imperfect humans are allowed to be and how small I really am in the whole scheme of things. At various times I hide, step back, stand tall, or reach out. I hold still or take action. I hold my ground or reconsider. Most times I just do what I can, do what I love, get by, have fun, be myself, etc. What else can you do?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A Rant About Health Care, Socialism, Conservatives and Liberals
this was part of a facebook conversation/debate about obama, the health care bill, and the satirical website about boycotting our "socialist fire departments."
1- i don't think that the satire presented in the "1 million strong against our socialist fire departments" is totally incorrect. i know it generalizes and simplifies the issues, but i do think it makes an important point. labeling obama a "socialist" (including images of him which mimic communist and fascist propaganda) has been widely and aggressively used to discredit his presidency and the push for universal health care. First, that is incorrect. Many of the “left” wish he really were a socialist/communist/humanitarian/etc and strongly disagree with many of the decisions, compromises, etc he has made. (though when he is attacked it’s hard not to come back fighting, especially when given the outrageous fraud, inhumanity, and hypocrisy of recent republican leaders). second, the website was simply pointing out that our government provides PLENTY of services that we participate in- whether we take them for granted or appreciate them. i believe that being able to go to the doctor when you are sick should be just as accessible as borrowing a book from the library, asking a police officer for help, riding a city bus, attending kindergarten, mailing a letter, etc. none of those are perfect systems, FOR SURE(!), but i've been glad to have them when i need/want/choose them! i know there are many people in the world who do not have such privileges, but in the wealthiest country in the world i think it's outrageous that so many people (children, the elderly, people who work 3 jobs, the disabled, etc) do not have health care. on a side note, i agree that in general more local control would be both more effective and higher quality. i also think that there are certain responsibilities that we humans have to care for (or at least respect) each other and many of the "right" (not all!!!) has a history of violating those rights and continues to do so today which makes me very hesitant to say that certain areas of the country should govern themselves. what about the people of color who live there? what about the gays and lesbians? what about the teenager who gets pregnant? what about those who are not christian? i know the good that people can do when they work together in their communities, but i've also seen the horrible, hateful, violent things they do. I think communities should be given more autonomy and responsibility to care for their own. I also have some hesitancy about that though, given the way many groups have been treated in the past, and are treated to this day.
2- while i know that there are a lot of things we all disagree on (both within our "right" or "left" circles and between them), there are also many things we do agree on-- things we want for ourselves, our children, our parents, our communities, our world etc. it's wild how easy it is to dig our feet in, try and prove a point, get self-righteous, come back fighting, etc when i would guess that many of our goals are the same. (and i'm not pointing fingers here, but mostly speaking from my own experiences/reactions). the republican vs. democrat struggle happens everywhere from the senate floor to facebook and it's a shame because really we are all just humans. and trust me, i know because my way is the only real answer (just kidding).
1- i don't think that the satire presented in the "1 million strong against our socialist fire departments" is totally incorrect. i know it generalizes and simplifies the issues, but i do think it makes an important point. labeling obama a "socialist" (including images of him which mimic communist and fascist propaganda) has been widely and aggressively used to discredit his presidency and the push for universal health care. First, that is incorrect. Many of the “left” wish he really were a socialist/communist/humanitarian/etc and strongly disagree with many of the decisions, compromises, etc he has made. (though when he is attacked it’s hard not to come back fighting, especially when given the outrageous fraud, inhumanity, and hypocrisy of recent republican leaders). second, the website was simply pointing out that our government provides PLENTY of services that we participate in- whether we take them for granted or appreciate them. i believe that being able to go to the doctor when you are sick should be just as accessible as borrowing a book from the library, asking a police officer for help, riding a city bus, attending kindergarten, mailing a letter, etc. none of those are perfect systems, FOR SURE(!), but i've been glad to have them when i need/want/choose them! i know there are many people in the world who do not have such privileges, but in the wealthiest country in the world i think it's outrageous that so many people (children, the elderly, people who work 3 jobs, the disabled, etc) do not have health care. on a side note, i agree that in general more local control would be both more effective and higher quality. i also think that there are certain responsibilities that we humans have to care for (or at least respect) each other and many of the "right" (not all!!!) has a history of violating those rights and continues to do so today which makes me very hesitant to say that certain areas of the country should govern themselves. what about the people of color who live there? what about the gays and lesbians? what about the teenager who gets pregnant? what about those who are not christian? i know the good that people can do when they work together in their communities, but i've also seen the horrible, hateful, violent things they do. I think communities should be given more autonomy and responsibility to care for their own. I also have some hesitancy about that though, given the way many groups have been treated in the past, and are treated to this day.
2- while i know that there are a lot of things we all disagree on (both within our "right" or "left" circles and between them), there are also many things we do agree on-- things we want for ourselves, our children, our parents, our communities, our world etc. it's wild how easy it is to dig our feet in, try and prove a point, get self-righteous, come back fighting, etc when i would guess that many of our goals are the same. (and i'm not pointing fingers here, but mostly speaking from my own experiences/reactions). the republican vs. democrat struggle happens everywhere from the senate floor to facebook and it's a shame because really we are all just humans. and trust me, i know because my way is the only real answer (just kidding).
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